Money Matter For Couples
Navigating the murky waters of financial management as a couple can be tricky — but it doesn’t have to be turbulent.
Money is a frequent cause of relationship disharmony — particularly when one partner decides to take the wheel. The problems inherent with a single person assuming responsibility for handling finances don’t end over differing spending habits and miscommunication. A recent study published in the Journal of Consumer Research reveals that abdicating responsibility for your finances can lead to a significant decrease in financial literacy, the effects of which become even more pronounced over time.
One premise of the study: When relationship partners lean on the expertise of the other, they don’t need to know everything — just simply who knows it. In many cases, one side of the partnership frequently is content handing over management of finances to the person they feel is best qualified or the primary breadwinner.
However, specializations that naturally evolve over time can result in ever-widening gaps in knowledge, with the uninvolved partner potentially remaining ignorant of the information or decisions involved. Jamie Fatheree, a Financial Wellness Coach for American Airlines Federal Credit Union, preaches that a deliberate shared approach can not only head off gaps in financial literacy, but also resentment that can occur from one side dealing with the stressful demands of handling shared finances.
“Communication is key,” Fatheree said. “It’s natural for one partner to be better at handling finances, but both need to be aware of how much income is coming in and how many expenses are going out. I recommend partners hold monthly budget meetings. This doesn’t have to take more than five minutes, but they should discuss the needs for the current month and plan for any unusual expenses that may be coming up so there is an understanding of where the money is going and how much each of them has to spend freely.”
Additionally, what happens when the relationship irrevocably changes or simply ends? Fatheree said that when a death, divorce or even prolonged illness occurs, you don’t just lose your partner — you lose that partner’s financial expertise.
“Recently, a member came to me after her husband had suddenly passed away,” Fatheree said. “He handled all the bills electronically, so there were no paper trails. She didn’t know who their service providers were or any passwords to online accounts. She was completely lost.”
Fatheree said she has seen similar situations with divorce. One partner suddenly leaves and they have complete access to all the cash and credit accounts, leaving the other with little or nothing and no way of knowing what accounts are out there.
“Because of the [divorce] scenario, I recommend couples find a safe place to record what accounts they have and the passwords, if there is online access,” she said. “It’s also a good idea to have contact numbers for the family attorney and life insurance providers, if any.”
Aside from financial literacy, there’s also at least one other great reason to manage your money together: There’s evidence it aids family harmony. A 2018 CreditLoan.com survey reveals that 91.6 percent of households that share the responsibility of managing finances are happy. Those are numbers we can all get behind.